Chicken tonight

For those of you who dont know, my dogs eat chickens.  If your chicken is in our yard, it is theirs, if your chicken is in your yard, it is theirs, if your chicken is locked up tight in the chook house in your yard, it is theirs.  I apologise.  Mr J has been putting up dog wire for almost 3 years.  That is after i spent $800 on electric boundary fencing which did keep one dog in and kept one dog out after he ran through it and took the shock to get out.  So when we finally put up some dog wire, after one dog had been attacked for the third time by some other neighbourhood dogs, we put it on upside down, so they can both fit through it.  Not funny. 

When a man turned up at the front door (of the boys part of the house) and told Mstr J he was going to kill his dog, Mstr J said in return he would kill him if he killed his dog and he will now get his dad as he might want a piece of him also.  Which he did.  Apparently Mr J has freedom because this man is a Vietnam Vet.  No disrespect, it was a terrible war which affected alot of people, but a bit extreme as a result of a chicken death.

The last time the dogs emptied an entire chook pen of 5 chickens and only got caught because they left a trail of feathers that lead to my front step, the owner said we were doing them a favour, and that dogs eat chickens, someone should have locked them up.  Didnt have the guts to say they would have eaten them anyway.  Needless to say Stringybark Rd has very few chickens residing here and my dogs have beautiful teeth.

Back to the mad man from a couple of houses away who wants to kill my dog.  So we declare that our dogs do not eat chickens and could he know it was them and in fact prove it.  He said it was a Jack Russell, Flick is a Fox Terrier but who is splitting hairs? AFter Mr J told him if he was 20 years younger he would be bleeding on the driveway (working on positivity), he left. 

The dogs have been in lock down since then.  Locked in the house, the pool yard, my car or at work with me.  At work we have chickens and one of them attacks Flick through the fence, she is scared of the chicken, but would probably eat it if i let her in the pen with them. On Wednesday they had a bath at work, came out smelling great, once at home i let them out to go to the toilet, they were out of my sight for 2 minutes and they both went missing.  Fuck.

Piper is older and going deaf/ignorant and he pisses off all the time.  He was arrested once and while they enjoyed having him at the pound, he cost a motza to bail out, he didnt get a discount for being friendly.  He came back when he felt like it, Flick came back and stunk, really stunk.  Her feet were filthy, she had been up to something chicken related i bet.  I gave her another bath in the tub so she could venture to house lock down for the night. 

Next morning i let them out for breaky and toilet stop.  Flick disappeared.  I spotted her in the back paddock with something hanging from her mouth.  Chicken?  I got in my cammo gear (dressing gown and gumboots) armed with a plastic bag aka body bag.  Lucky for me i am a pro at bagging up dead bodies, not human of course, but kind of handy should i ever need to.  I crept into the paddock, and in one movement grabbed the chicken in the bag, shoved it in my pocket (which by the way had eaten a recent meal of corn) and ran back to the house to get rid of the evidence. 

Nothing to see here, you just prove my dogs are chicken killers (i'm stuffed if he reads my blog).

Washing and other stuff

I have been thinking about a blog all week, in fact i have been thinking i would like to commit to submitting something each week which is not so long to read (assuming there are so many of you out there who read this).  Ms I has a very cool blog http://iramcguire.blogspot.com.au/ and every Friday is 'Friday Style'.  My whole day has been a bit muddled so i thought i could settle down to read the Friday edition.  It wasnt there.  Thats ok too because she is also about to start becoming a Doctor, so she must be busy. Or she is more likely at some trendy cafe drinking coffee that does not come from a jar like i am. 

Now my muddled day may have been because i could not get out of bed (thats everyday), Ethan stayed at home (to prepare for Grand Final tomorrow), i visited Jim and he looked happy with his new friends and looked at me like i had dumped him, i am changing my medication on my own because i am so tired and my blood test gave no reason for it.  So i am still tired, and my head is messed up, probably not a smart decision.

The blood test mainly came about (and skip this paragraph if i already told you this) because i had a work 'institute' bonding/useless information day and i had declared i was not going.  My boss who will no longer be my boss after next week said i better have a medical certificate for the doctors appointment i had said was booked for months and i could not possibly change to attend the work thing.  I lied.  I had to make an appointment, then make an excuse to the doctor as to why i was there, which resulted in sending me to have a blood test.  Nothing wrong, except my cholesterol might be a little high, although he thought that might be an error because the numbers did not add up. I admitted to recently eating Jamie Oliver 30 minute meals at least three times a week.  If you have his cookbook and i know for a fact that i should get a spotters fee as 2 of my friends just bought it this week, he uses stacks of oil and butter and custard and cream.  Oh and i should mention that i eat one croissant every day, with an iced coffee.  Is that bad?

My muddle started this morning when i did not have a croissant, then at 11 am i had to race to the bakery to get my fix.  Seriously it was just like when i quit smoking the first or second time. Not the third, i was hypnotised and i dont care about smokes anymore. 

So i have mentioned washing.  I dont want to be negative about it or the process as i am trying to create a new positive me.  I fucking hate washing (did i say that out loud).  I keep all the clothes separated in their own little piles according to colour and dirtiness (is that a word), i almost cant wait for Friday to get it going in an attempt to have nothing there for the weekend.  Today i did that, then Mr J and Mstr J emptied their cars and bedrooms and every other hidy hole and created a new pile. That gets me down.  I just would like that it either starts to do it itself or someone invents a washing machine that washes, dries and folds, i would ask for ability to put away but thats a bit unreasonable.



On a more positive note, i asked Mr J if he had noticed how positive i had been lately.  He said yes he had noticed and thats what he hated most is when i am so negative (which i havent been for some time).  He says this as he is yelling abuse at the news when they talk about most things, so i am trying to turn Mr J into Mr Positive.  I will keep you posted.

I made it through my 41st birthday, yes i can say it out loud and my beautiful neighbours put on a fancy dinner (on a school night) and a most fabulous cake with 41 written on it (not so fabulous).  My neice asked me if i got spoilt by the boys.  I said "no but we are happy".  That has bothered me since i said it.  Yes we are happy BUT i explained to them all that i felt unappreciated and when Mr J complained about me using too many utensils when he had to wash up the after night after a Jamie O special, i could have stabbed him.  I dont know what i am expecting.  Gifts, praise, a parade?  I think that i need to maybe get over it and expect no miracles, i know that they all love me, but they are boys.