Chicken tonight

For those of you who dont know, my dogs eat chickens.  If your chicken is in our yard, it is theirs, if your chicken is in your yard, it is theirs, if your chicken is locked up tight in the chook house in your yard, it is theirs.  I apologise.  Mr J has been putting up dog wire for almost 3 years.  That is after i spent $800 on electric boundary fencing which did keep one dog in and kept one dog out after he ran through it and took the shock to get out.  So when we finally put up some dog wire, after one dog had been attacked for the third time by some other neighbourhood dogs, we put it on upside down, so they can both fit through it.  Not funny. 

When a man turned up at the front door (of the boys part of the house) and told Mstr J he was going to kill his dog, Mstr J said in return he would kill him if he killed his dog and he will now get his dad as he might want a piece of him also.  Which he did.  Apparently Mr J has freedom because this man is a Vietnam Vet.  No disrespect, it was a terrible war which affected alot of people, but a bit extreme as a result of a chicken death.

The last time the dogs emptied an entire chook pen of 5 chickens and only got caught because they left a trail of feathers that lead to my front step, the owner said we were doing them a favour, and that dogs eat chickens, someone should have locked them up.  Didnt have the guts to say they would have eaten them anyway.  Needless to say Stringybark Rd has very few chickens residing here and my dogs have beautiful teeth.

Back to the mad man from a couple of houses away who wants to kill my dog.  So we declare that our dogs do not eat chickens and could he know it was them and in fact prove it.  He said it was a Jack Russell, Flick is a Fox Terrier but who is splitting hairs? AFter Mr J told him if he was 20 years younger he would be bleeding on the driveway (working on positivity), he left. 

The dogs have been in lock down since then.  Locked in the house, the pool yard, my car or at work with me.  At work we have chickens and one of them attacks Flick through the fence, she is scared of the chicken, but would probably eat it if i let her in the pen with them. On Wednesday they had a bath at work, came out smelling great, once at home i let them out to go to the toilet, they were out of my sight for 2 minutes and they both went missing.  Fuck.

Piper is older and going deaf/ignorant and he pisses off all the time.  He was arrested once and while they enjoyed having him at the pound, he cost a motza to bail out, he didnt get a discount for being friendly.  He came back when he felt like it, Flick came back and stunk, really stunk.  Her feet were filthy, she had been up to something chicken related i bet.  I gave her another bath in the tub so she could venture to house lock down for the night. 

Next morning i let them out for breaky and toilet stop.  Flick disappeared.  I spotted her in the back paddock with something hanging from her mouth.  Chicken?  I got in my cammo gear (dressing gown and gumboots) armed with a plastic bag aka body bag.  Lucky for me i am a pro at bagging up dead bodies, not human of course, but kind of handy should i ever need to.  I crept into the paddock, and in one movement grabbed the chicken in the bag, shoved it in my pocket (which by the way had eaten a recent meal of corn) and ran back to the house to get rid of the evidence. 

Nothing to see here, you just prove my dogs are chicken killers (i'm stuffed if he reads my blog).