I forgot to mention (2)

For those of you who have met Elvis before (Elvis who resides at Tamborine and not Gracelands) you will know he has a weak stomach.  After a massive night up at St B's on the mountain and his need for the 'biggest breakfast' he could find, only to be found on his hands and knees 10 minutes later contributing a meal to the local scrub turkeys (the real bird ones, not the mothers who leave their young to go to Vegas), like this wasnt bad enough, but once on the road to get home he discovers that a tomato skin is part hanging into his nose and the other part the back of his mouth, you know like that condom trick some freaks used to do in the 80's.  Well its at this point he evacuates the car, before it stops and proceeds to yell at the bitches in the car (myself and triple threat #1) to call him an ambulance, as he could very well die any second now.  My god we were laughing so hard.  Once he had dislodged the tomato skin, and returned to the car TT #1 offered him a mint, which happened to be the super hot ones, which bought on another round of vomitting, straight into her handbag.  I am telling you this story as a prequel to the nut incident which happened in the bar in Vegas on the first night.  My apologies for the lack of order with my tales, i should have kept a journal.

When you drink at the bar you get a bowl full of nuts and wasabi peas.  Elvis thinks if it is green it must be advocado.  Wasabi is not advocado.  Jalapenos are not advocado. Jalapenos are not gherkin.  Elvis discovered this on more than one occasion, very Homer Simpson of him i thought. Doh. So he starts to cough, and choke a little.  No one at this stage has jumped up to perform the Heimlich, there are drinks to be drunk. 

Elvis has left the building (or the bar at least) and comes back looking like he has just gone a round with Mike Tyson, red face, sweat on his brow. 

Now Elvis must have a oronasal cavity the size of a horse, perhaps it had changed shape after so many hits to the face playing footy, perhaps it is his questionable indigenous background, we dont know.  But the nut was stuck, probably in the same place the tomato skin had been.  He had gone to the toilet to try to blow it out and blow he did, apparently after many failed attempts it came out like a missile.  A full size Brazil nut shot out of his nose at a blistering rate, he says it almost knocked a man out who was standing nearby. 

We cried with laughter.  It could only happen to Elvis.  Thank you very much.