Speaking of which .....

I was only thinking this morning i had a million things to get off my mind, and then i woke to read a fellow bloggers and BFF blog to see that not only had she delivered it to us all a day early, but she must have also had a thousand things to say, i loved it, it was so busy and interesting.  So inspired by this blog and also disappointed that the one she was promising for Tuesday had already been read, i thought i would share my thoughts.

I had vivid dreams last night, i dreamt i was fired from work, maybe that is because Mark Bouros gets to fire someone every other day and it was in my head, or perhaps it was the wine i drank with my neighbour in the afternoon....and dont you just hate Deni Hines and if she mentions her mother again, if she doesn't get fired tomorrow night i will throw my shoe at the TV.

Flick went swimming again on Sunday, i popped out for an hour or so to see how Queen Adelaide and Naana's holiday went.  The team effort of looking after her splinted leg is not real flash around here.  Queen Adelaide and Naana were glowing however, really, suntanned and excited about going back to Thailand....of course i said i would need to do that trip also.  More dreaming, but something to aim for, see we are planning a massive group family trip to somewhere the kids would kind of like also, they would kill me if i left without them again and this would only be because they want to pick the gifts we might bring back, perhaps Tall one will have a fishing trip that week when we plan to go and i will only have to take shorter one with.

Tall one announces that him and his mates are looking at hiring a house boat. REALLY. He is 16 and 7 months and thinks his bank account is full of cash...he only works one day a week but also dreams big, he even has mates with big cars and big boats (guess what he thinks he will be getting, yes he asked for a boat). Elvis and i both thought this idea was ridiculous, at that age.....  I actually think we did something similar, our friend had a big boat and his parents would take it out and anchor it and leave us on it, we would get so pissed, there were times i remember on occasions getting a boat stuck on a sand bar, i dont remember if it was the big one, Miffy might be able to help me with this one.....we can discuss it at our long lunch, the boys will have some idea at least....i do remember being thrown overboard into a herd/bevvy/gaggle of jellyfish, not nice.

I cant wait for the long lunch, it is my first invite to actually intend to have a long lunch, not one which you eat at lunchtime then keep on going until breakfast by accident.  I dont know what to wear and am planning a shop on Thursday to sort it out, but really i cant wait. The lunch is to welcome yet another member to the club (40).  Hopefully i will get to catch up with our French maid who i was sad to miss her club initiation due to sunstroke.  For sure we can share a bottle of bubbles to celebrate, even Miffy has declared she will be a sinner for the day, mainly due to peer pressure and i think she should as a reward for the lifestyle change.  Shitty time of the year to decide on a lifestyle change, but kudos to you for doing it. 

October 31 today, halloween.  The inside of my casement windows in this office look like i have decorated them.  The biggest spiders and plenty of webs, i had a giggle when i noticed it, and cant be bothered taking a pic to prove it.  Its true. Also last day of smoking.  Who am i kidding, i bought another packet tonight. I have anxiety already about getting through a long lunch with a bunch of non smokers.....

I started my new job this week, same place, same desk, new job...well sort of in preparation for next year, this is good but i cant wait until holidays...7 weeks 28 more days to drive to the arse end of the earth to sit at my desk and fight famnesia. Did not fight very hard today.

Sydney next week, Equitana, all things horse for those of you who dont know.  Am heading down with a group of girls, cant wait.  I just wish they would stamp your passport, now that i have one, then i can feel like i am going places....fast.  I might accumulate a few next year seeing as i have agreed to go to Vegas for a wedding (as a bridesmaid in my pink frock), Thailand, Canada and Darwin, I think the wedding is not going to happen because Miffy doesnt want me to wear my pink frock.  Now Elvis does not want to go to Darwin (apparently nothing is there) or Thailand so i told him that clearly our travel plans are not aligned so it would be better if he didnt come with and it would cost less also.  Like that will happen. 

My car has a massive scratch on it, someone has hit something and no one will fess up.  I did run over Tall boys bike in the garage, could have been me. Prove it.

The weather is shit, i am also anxious about another flood episode come xmas time, of course last year i spent my whole 6 weeks off freaking out about the floods, only to escape to Evans Head and get smashed with a couple of massive storms.  Note to self: need to buy a new gazebo to replace the one that got smashed last year, or was that Freemont St Dancers gazebo? I panic in storms and wonder why Piper (my dog) has to sit in a corner with his face pressed against the wall when a storm comes, poor baby, it must feel awful to be so terrified, oh wait, i was. I catastrophise. If my literary genious reads this, could you let me know if that is a word?

Planning a slumber party with my girls.....Inga thinks we are crazy, well at least 2 of us are on various levels.  I will save this for another blog ( slumber party and degrees of crazy).

Tears at the Nail Salon

Amazing Nails.  This is the name of the salon near my work, they are by no means amazing, it would be amazing if they could actually send you out happy with the job they had done. You know the ones, they are in every shopping centre, you can also get pedicures done in a massage chair and have your feet sanded to within an inch of their life and if you are lucky you might even go home with some fungal situation.  They were featured on today tonight or some show like that the other week, woman had these festy hands and feet post salon visit.  I figured it wont happen to me, and this one is really close to work, very convenient.

I have had so many comments lately "omg you have nails", yes, dont we all?  This reference is made due to the fact that i am not a 'girly girl'.  I think i was at some stage in my life, absolutely i was.  Now i tend to wear either jeans and jimboots or my backyard garden/horse clothes and boots.  I do however like the shock factor i induce when i put on a dress and some makeup, yes i can be bothered to make the effort...not often, but i do. 

Anywho, i went to have my nails 'filled' today in my lunch break.  This is about my 5th visit to this particular salon, and they manage to fuck it up everytime.  Not only do they not speak any english when speaking amongst themselves, so i always think they are talking about me, but when they do speak to you, it is muffled by a triple layer mask (they dont want to inhale the fungal spores floating through the air), but the english is also very poor, i just nod most of the time.  

My previous 4 visits i have kept my mouth shut, head back to work, pull the nail file out of my desk and fix my nails myself.  Today i decided to let them know how i wanted it done. "please dont take any length off and keep the shape i have now" so when she starts to file one hand down short and change the shape i ask her nicely to stop.  When she continues a little later in the process i tell her to leave it as is, no really, leave them (yes i had to say this twice). 

Now i have a right hand with very short nails which all point in the wrong direction, making me look like i have some digit deformity, and a right hand which after i told her to leave it, she did, this hand looks quite nice.  When the eftpos machine would not work when i went to pay, i had to go to a machine in the mall, as i walked out to do this i burst into tears.....really, i dont know if it was because i had to pay an extra $2 to use the atm, or that fact that they had once again fucked up my nails.  I bet they are friends with the hairdresser who fucked my fringe up....its a conspiracy.

Felicity Jane

Felicity Jane is our fox terrier.  When we lived at Jimboomba we had a few snake issues.  We all know that snakes are going to be around when you live on a rural property, our issue was that the cats would bring them inside the house, Dot was the main offender, she would sneak them in and let them go.  Nothing venomous made it into the house, but a snakes a snake. The final straw was when Elvis was getting his face lift and we all trudged home from the hospital very emotional and tired, to collapse on a mattress on the floor in front of the tv.  There was bird feathers all over the lounge room, someone of the feline variety had plucked a bird and eaten the good bits (this was a common occurance), we had to vacuum the feathers before we could relax, when i lifted the foam mattress up, there was a snake coiled up underneath it.  My eldest was 10 at the time and i made him kill it while i stood on the back of the lounge.  Mother of the year.

The decision was made to get a dog who could intercept the snake catcher before she made it into the loungeroom and who could also find the rats/bilbys/mice/bearded dragons/hares/possums/sugar gliders/birds the cat would also hide in the house.  Yes Dot was  a talented critter catcher, and she only had one eye, i cant blame her all the time though, i did have 7 cats.

Flick (for short) was purchased from Gympie, she was delivered to us as an 8 week old pup and found her first dead bilby (which was bigger than her) at about 9 weeks of age.  Excellent, she knew her job. She found the bilby in the boys wardrobe, one of the cats obviously lost interest when it stopped moving.

Over the 6 years we have had her, she has become Piper (my other dog) best friend and he is her beanbag (yes she sits on top of him), she has saved me on at least 2 occasions from a Brown snake and a Red Belly Black and has caught many more that hadnt the intent to scare the shit out of me.  On the occasion of the Red Belly, which crawled out from the vege patch i was weeding (this is the only thing i grow in my vege patch), Flick was bitten, more than once, needless to say the snake had its head chopped with a shovel and was proudly displayed by the kids, especially our kiwi friends whose son we  almost had to tackle to stop him getting too close to the snake before it lost its head.  Kiwis just dont understand the lethal part of our critters, i would move to NZ for this reason.  Anywho, Flick took a visit to the vet where she was treated for snakebite and is still with us today. 

I recently considered pet insurance for our critter catcher, and then forgot about it.  2 weeks later on the day of Queen Adelaides wedding, she injured her leg.  Of course seeing as we were busy bride/bridesmaiding it, i gave her some pain meds and put her to bed.  When the hangover subsided the next day i took her to the emergency centre for xrays: lateral antebarchiocarpal subluxation (ruptured ligament in her wrist).  Any wonder it was pointing the wrong way.  Mother of the year.  Poor Flick.  $6000 to fix it.  All i could think was that money could make for a nice holiday. 

So surgery is not an option, i could buy James' first car for this, she is going to live in a splint for 12 weeks and then we will reassess.  If nothing has been achieved we then need to make a decision. 

I have decided and was willing to do it from day one, to take her leg off.  She is a firey terrier and would get back to normal life, killing snakes and chasing the horse in no time. My Vet tells me i am being dramatic and give the splint a shot. Really, 12 weeks of dragging her to work with me (yes i have a dog crate next to my desk as Flick is a classroom dog also), making sure it doesnt get wet, that she doesnt run around etc.  who could be bothered?  Take the leg off, 10 days stitches out, back to normal.  Mother of the year.  My eldest son said he would rather put her to sleep than her lose a leg and it made me wonder if faced with the same decision with my kids/husband, would i say take the leg off ?  Probably not, just being dramatic. When i asked my son would he prefer to be without one leg or not be here, he opted for the latter, and that is sad.  I guess we take our limbs for granted and cant see our life being normal with such a change.

So the debate continues amongst the family and Flick is 2 weeks into her splinting exercise.  I left her with the boys for one day to look after her and she swam in the dam.  It is going to be a long 12 weeks.

Fads

What ever happened to Fags, you know the fake cigarettes we bought in the lolly shop as kids, they even had a red tip so it looked like they were alight.  Political corectness happened and they are now known as Fads. I should sue the Fags company for turning me into a smoker, no really it was peer pressure combined with the fact my mother smoked and i could steal them off her without knowing.  Besides, it was cool to smoke in the 80's.

This blog came to mind after my previous mention of cheap duty free smokes. I had planned to quit when the carton was finished.  Its finished.  I am still smoking.

I was at a party and a lady had an electronic cigarette.  She offered me a drag.  I put my VB down and accepted the offer (i had zambucca, but VB sounds more bogan to go with the drag comment).  It was hard plastic and when you dragged on it the end lit up light a christmas light.  You could even blow out smoke (apparently it is vapour).  I was excited, an alternative to actual cigarettes without quitting.  I even think non smokers would give these a crack.

I am talking about quitting because i said that October was quit month.  Now there is only 6 days to go and i am having anxiety attacks over the whole quit deal.  My plan is to have hypnosis, i need an instant fix so i dont kill my family.  I wondered if you could get hypnotised into believing all kinds of other stuff, i thought i might like to be an olympic hurdler.

Vegas Baby: part 6

Disneyland in 6 hours.

Once landed in LA, we crammed about 100 suitcases into a bus (we can no longer fit in anything smaller) and really there was probably 12 suitcases, 6 carry ons and a hat can between 6 people.  Off to Anaheim.  Now i was responsible for selecting the hotel and had stressed about this from the time I booked it.  Thankfully it was quite nice, Residence Inn Maingate. The reason it was stressful is because Anaheim has about 1000 hotels and 3 of them are called Residence Inn (with some other word after it), we needed to be close to Disneyland and a bar of some description.  We were both.  Now because it is close to everything Disney there is of course a million kids...everywhere ( I am really exagerating with my numbers today), and all the bars which were right next door, stacks of them had happy hour all night from about 5pm.  Happy hour on food and drinks, happy hours.  It really is the happiest place on earth (next to Vegas). Disappointment and probably relief to our livers is that everything closed at midnight during the week nights and thats when we arrived. We did choose to do Anaheim last to detox a little.

Anywho, like i said we did Disney in 6 hours.  This included purchasing tickets and waiting for PP to collect her first timer badges as the window she chose had run out, but she was not leaving without a badge, fair enough, i would feel the same except Elvis and I had them already.

The place was all dressed up for Halloween (yes early), a bit like the Aussies selling xmas trees in September.  Perhaps we need to start really celebrating Halloween to delay the xmas stock reaching the shelves around fathers day.

It is so beautiful.  We decided that seeing as we only had 6 hours, we needed to hit all the rides which had height restrictions on them, might be a little scarier.  We did do the haunted house (for littles, obviously no danger here as you get onto the ride while it is moving), and it was beautiful.The room with the snow was actually cold and the ginger bread room smelt like ginger bread, awesome effort Disney.

The first 'restricted' ride was one like the flume at seaworld, we waited and hour and a half to get on and then were evacuated just before the first drop because the ride broke (the kids behind us were not ours but some other Aussie family, who winged as much as we did when they kicked us off).

We were offered a one of front of line pass for our troubles: 1 ride = front of line.  We ran to the front of the next ride and held onto the pass for the next 3 or 4.  We used all kinds of diversions to hang onto this pass, i felt sorry for the people who had to wait while we pushed into the front (just a little).  The rides were great, we screamed and laughed like little kids. Yes i have an abominable snowman hat on.

On our final ride our front of line pass was confiscated, i think word got around that a group of Australians were bullshitting their way through the park.  The night parade started and every disney character with theme music marched down the main street, we got to follow it out to the front gate singing Supercalafragalisticexpealadocious...um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ly (my all time favourite song), the time it took us to get to the gate behind the crowd we had heard the chorus at least 30 times (not so favourite by this time). I mainly like it because i can spell it backwards if asked to.

After the grand exit, we headed to Bubba Gumps Shrimp Factory for shrimp (obviously) and happy hour mojitos/daiquiris/bacardis. We met up with our fellow travellers after their busy day in San Fran, headed off to bed when they kicked us out of Bubba Gumps.

Breakfast at our hotel was ordinary and shut at 9am, coffee was still crap.  Load the tour bus to go sightseeing.  Our bus driver was also a comedian (he thought) and after 10 minutes i told him to shut the fark up and drive (i said this in my head).  He continued to talk the entire day.  First stop Venice Beach.  Even though we were a large group with large men included, i was still nervous here.  It looks just like it does on TV and the men in muscle gym do their workout while checking consistantly that someone is watching.  The sell medicinal marijuana from a stall on the sidewalk, but you cant take photos, souveneirs are cheap and the beach is wide.  Stephan stopped for a toilet break, which was interrupted by a man carrying a saw...yes a saw, and i think Stephan may have gotten stage fright for fear of getting a piece of him sawn off (understandable).  I gave some money to a beggar for being honest in saying he only needed money to get drunk (i can relate to this).  We were forced into buying cd's of a group of men who claimed to be playing at the big day out next year, it seems every guy selling cd's is playing there as this was the third time i had heard it, i still said "awesome" for fear of being mugged, Elvis paid $2 for his, Freemont St Dancer paid about $40, still havent listened to them to see if there is any music on them.  Quick walk around and safely back to the comedian/driver.  Over to Santa Monica Pier, big beach, loads of smog and the greatest chilli dogs on earth....no they were not hot.  I had a panic attack on the ferris wheel and was held hostage until it finished, I paid $5 for this privalege.

 Bel Air and Beverly Hills....big houses, took loads of pics and cannot remember one of the famous people who allegedly live in them (comedian could have made it all up) so we continue to tell our friends and relatives the same crap...who would ever know??  Saw the Hollywood sign, walked over some stars (the ones on the sidewalk), not overly impressed with the place but at least we saw it (not like the Grand Canyon: see below for fake pictures, we thought we could fool someone).

Back to our hotel, and off to an Ice Hockey game; the Mighty Ducks and more nachos, and off to Bubba Gumps for drinks again.

Next day we had planned to go to Universal Studios, half the team went, we were so tired i could not face another long drive, apparently it was awesome.  We headed to Knottsberry Farm for the day.  OMG you have never seen so many roller coasters in one place, 12 i think and another heap of rides which looked equally as scary.  Between us we pretty much did them all and all felt pretty sick at the end of the day...it may have been the giant nachos i had for lunch, or the drinks i had the night before?  We went on a roller coaster called the Ghost rider.  2 mnutes of hell. I would imagine if there was a hell and i happened to visit it, you would be made to ride this roller coaster over and over. I wish i could find the pic of Mr and Mrs S&C, it is priceless, Mr S&C looks like he might have done a bit of poo in his pants.....seriously i didnt know whether to laugh or cry.

 Found it, there had to be some poo.

After a big day at Knottsberry, we stopped at some happy hour bar, had a couple of cocktails and headed off to get ready for the big flight home.  Load ourselves into 2 buses (we had loads of bags) and off to the airport for some serious duty free shopping (grog and smokes).  Really how good is duty free, smokes for $3.50 per pack.  No tax.  Did you know that the govt spends 6 billion dollars more on obesity related illness, than smoking related?  Just thought i would add that, read it in the paper yesterday.

With a tear in my eye our plane left the tarmac and was headed for the land down under.  I had missed my kids terribly, although when we arrived home they stayed long enough to get their presents and then went on with their lives.  My dogs were happier to see TT#1 (who house sat for us) than they were to see me and the cats were all pissed off, Taz because TT#1 had left her and Stu because he always gets the shits when i go away (dont worry we are talking again). 

I had a fantastic time on my first grown up overseas holiday and now just need an excuse to get back to Vegas.....Miffy was getting married again there, but her husband to be (second time around) is the party police and wont go along with it.  Anyone want to go to Vegas?????

I have the travel bug.

Vegas Baby: part 5

Morning after the biggest night i think i have ever had.......

Half the team had to be on a plane at 8.30am to see the sights of San Francisco, we werent so adventurous and had decided to stay another night, really we hadnt done enough so far? 

When i half opened one eye at about 9.30am, i do this all the time after a big night, one half open eye can indicate how the remainder of my day is going to pan out and i can confirm, this was not good.  We had forgotten to 'unset' the automatic curtain open, and when it slid open i had the feeling a vampire might get when exposed to light and this was even through one half opened eye.  First step was to find the remote and shut the curtains.  I found all of this automation amazing in Vegas (yes off track for a minute) we could set the ambience of our room via our smart TV, there were even three smart TV's which is kind of handy as you could access one while sitting on the toilet....odd.  Anywho, your curtains/lights/music/TV could come on in any variation: black out curtain or sheer, volume and lighting was all adjustable, it was really all too hard and i just wished i could flick a switch...there were no switches, even the toilet flushed on its own when you stood up.  While still off track and onto toilets, i was concerned about the water level in the loo, i reckon, and it was discussed at great length, that when a man sat on the seat, his bits might just touch the water (no one admitted it so lets say it is unconfirmed).  My drama was that if i was to vomit, there would be more surface area for me to have to look at, and seeing as i wasnt standing up after going to the loo, would it flush automatically or would i have to stand up after every retch...something to think about.  Fortunately i went a whole week without having to find this out.

Back to Vampire......

So we dont have too much planned for the day after the biggest night ever except horse riding in the dessert.  The shuttle was to pick myself and Pop Princess up at 12.30pm.  Great, time for a 2nd nap.  I need a second nap these days to get over a big night, it might only be an hour, but really it helps.  I had a quick shower and went back to bed.  When i did the one half opened eye deal after my second nap things were not good, i was concerned about the water/vomit and i think this is why i didnt spew the 50 litres of bourban and coke i had consumed the night before. GET up GET up GET up.

So i meet PP downstairs and need to eat something so that this desert ride doesnt kill me.  Fruit salad...cost about $9 and every bit i put into my mouth made me retch.  The fruit looked like our fruit, it just didnt taste like real fruit, or perhaps my taste buds were destroyed. So we wait for shuttle in 40 something degree heat, with jeans on, it was good to see we werent the only idiots in jeans, i felt ok with this, man my head hurt.  Apparently there are 2 pick up spots and of course we wait for an hour in the wrong one, once we found our driver, after rolling my ankle on a gutter which apparently was obvious it was there (it was painted fluro yellow), i think i also may have damaged my retinas the night before...we were on our way to Red Rock Canyon.  Did i mention we ran out of time and never saw the Grand Canyon.  This was the closest we would get, take pics, no one will know (unless you have actually seen it).

Our cowboy drives us there, says leave our handbags in the truck, he wasnt going anywhere.  Another cowboy offer me an aspirin and a soda.  We pack plenty of water and our cameras and we are off on our horses.  Extreme trail riding, over rocks and windy tracks, it was very cool.  Actually it was fricken hot and i was hungover, but i loved it.  We even saw chipmunks, although i thought Alvin was big on TV so we werent sure at first if these were real chipmunks.  They were, and they lied about Alvin.

After an hour and a half we return back to the ranch, and guess what....the truck has gone, with our handbags.  Now PP is thinking he has stolen them and we are going to be left to die in Red Rock Canyon, i am kind of agreeing with her.  They offered us a free shirt, and never gave it to us.  We didnt leave a tip.

Finally back to the hotel, nothing missing from our handbags (PP checked her purse).  I need food. We headed to the Hard Rock for dinner.  Food was great, the non alcoholic coctails were great and the service was fantastic.  One thing we do not have in Australia, is exceptional service.  It is disappointing, and i told every American who said they would love to visit Australia...not to bother.  Think i might try for a job with tourism Australia??

Early night tonight, i needed to buy another suitcase (we had already three) and attempt to turn 500kgs of goodies into 4 suitcases.  Success.

Back to LA in the morning, but not without a visit to Sheplers (a western store).  Now this seemed like a great idea, get up early, get a taxi to Sheplers, shop, back to hotel, airport, LA, Ananheim. 

Up early: check
Taxi 8.30am: check
Sheplers 9.00am: dont check, it didnt open until 10, so the cabbie dropped us at his favourite restaurant, 'The egg and I'.  He said the coffee was great.  The menu was like a newspaper, 12 pages of egg recipes.
Coffee was shit, the meals were massive and also shit but we had time to kill.  When Elvis eggs benedict came out in a bowl, i was concerned, even more so to see that the benedicts were floating in cheese, it resemble eggs benedict soup.  Star rating 5 for heart attacks.  Please let me see Sheplers before we die.

Sheplers 10.00am: check, stranger gives us 20% off voucher, even better.  We have scheduled 30 minutes to shop, taxi booked for 10.30, back to hotel, to airport in time for 12.15pm flight.

Taxi 10.30: late

Trying to drag 5 bags and a hat can (case to carry recently purchased cowboy hat) down our 203 step hallway out of the hotel, then try to fit it all into another taxi to get us to the airport, very fricken difficult, and i could taste the eggs the whole time. 

Vegas Airport 11.45: check, we come flying into the airport after dumping bags (and not overweight woo hoo), security check and find our fellow team members as they announce my name over the loud speaker.  Phew...we didnt miss our flight and i got to shop at Sheplers, super effort.  I can still taste eggs.

Only one more problem that my hat can does not fit in the overhead in our cattle class flight, they might have to delay on my behalf, until one of the aged hosties, came and shoved it in, neally broke it.  We were on our way back to LA, over to Anaheim and a fun filled day at Disneyland. 

We did Disney land in 6 hours, and were even evacuated from a ride which broke down (fortunately we scammed a front of line pass which enabled us to see Disneyland in 6 hours)...it was hard but we did it, even got to see the parade, PP was so happy.  Now to meet up with our San Fran team members for a well earned drink (like we havent had enough) at Bubba Gumps...just in time for happy hour, wearing our 'first timer' badges from Disneyland.

Vegas Baby: part 4

Wake up call about 8am.  Thanks.  Today was the wedding day and we had lots to see before this, so a quick shower, some breaky, and i think i had noodles for breakfast.  Nice option.  I might take this opportunity to let you know about the breakfast buffet.  I cant really remember if i actually ate noodles this morning as i was a bit under the weather, so because i forgot to journal please go along with me.

Breakfast buffet in our hotel included the regular eggs and bacon, although i must add i just loved the bacon in the states, it is deep fried so it is almost like jerky of the pork variety.  You can have your eggs anyway, they will make you omeletes, benedict, scrambled etc.  Toast, which comes in sweet, wheat or wholemeal, dont ask me what sweet is, i didnt try it and i just assumed they all had wheat in some capacity.  Cream cheese is popular, different colour/flavour mounds of it.  Chinese, always a good option for breaky, especially if you have not gone to bed yet, and it wasnt dodgy at all, i had noodles one day (pretend its today). Chicken, you could have a half or a whole chicken, cooked kabana, roasted ham...strange options, again for those who have not slept?  Biscuits and Grits, now i tried this eventually because i needed to say i had eaten Grits, well i didnt actually eat it as much as i put some in my mouth and in an attempt to swallow a bit of vomit came back with it, needless to say i dont recommend trying Grits just because you are in America.  Biscuits are like scones, so i put jam on them, i got some weird looks.  McDonalds does their Mcmuffin with biscuits, really ? Scones with an egg and sausage in between, not nice.  Cheese puffs, now from the desert bar (yes still breaky) i had to try a cheese puff, it looked like a croissant, only it was the size of a tennis ball and filled with that cheese i mentioned before that comes out of a tap...i am in heaven. You cannot get a cup of tea, unless it is iced and still forget the coffee, it is like a cup of poison that resembles coffee. Enough with breaky, i simply love a buffet.

We ventured to the Venetian Casino. The sky is blue with clouds, there is a canal and gondolas with real 'venetians' singing while they row someone up the canal...this is all indoors, it was beautiful, although i didnt have a ride because the singing would have driven me nuts, and once you are in a gondola, you have committed to the whole ride which might include alot of singing.  The shops in here were beautiful as were the fake cobblestone streets, certainly on the recommendation list to see this one. 

Madam Taussauds is also on the list, while i was reluctant to go inside (they are just wax models), i did.  It was funny, you can touch them all and there are props.  The first floor we found ourselves on many occasions apologising to wax dummies, they were spread around the room and if you bumped into one you couldnt help but say sorry or excuse me.  Funny.  We all posed with our favourite people and took stacks of pics.  I met Miffys boyfriend (sorry Miffy he wasnt real like i had you believe). I shot hoops with Shaquille Oneil and layed down on the bunny bed with Hugh. 

Bit more shopping, and off to get ready for the wedding of Mr and Ms S&C.  After i tried on 3 dresses and equally hated each one, i went for the old favourite.  Really i have had this black dress for longer than i can remember and i have worn it to so many events.  Always take your favourite black dress.  And comfy shoes.  No i didnt actually pack any comfy shoes, so have just worn different ones everyday so the blisters would not be in the same place.  Dont worry i had thongs in my bag to wear after the formalities.

So we load into the biggest stretch limo i have ever seen, I lie, there was one bigger in the car park but it wasnt ours.  But this was huge.  11 great people, 1 photographer and of course our driver.  Down to the Vegas sign.  Now the vegas sign is not as big as i had imagined, it is also on the median strip and there are stacks of tourists there, perhaps they knew a couple of Aussies were getting married.  When we arrived at the sign, the wedding coordinator was there and Ms S made me honoury bridesmaid, how lovely. The ceremony was short and sweet, the Groom was nervous as all get out and it was about 45 degrees.  Airplanes flew over, cars bipped their horns, i wish i had of videod it just for the noise, it was fantastic.  Woo hoo, they are now announced Mr and Mrs S&C and we load back into the stretch for a drive around to some beautiful hotels which offered photo opportunities. Well photos for the bride and groom, different bars for us.  Drop the photographer back at the hotel, slip into some thongs (for my feet) and head off to the reception.  Freemont St. 

What a reception they had planned, we drank out of footballs which held about 10 nips of spirit, the first one cost $13 and a refill was $10, i did manage to get through 2.  Anyway there was an 80's tribute band playing all night in the mall, light/music shows, weirdos galore, casinos which gave you beads everytime you walked near the front door and CHEAP drinks.  Within half an  hour of arriving we were either pissed or so excited about being here, it was out of control.  "I farking love this place" was mainly what we said for the first few hours.  The crowds gave us a wide berth and some were even taking pics of us (perhaps we were their weirdos). Have they never seen 11 Aussies singing 80's songs at the top of their lungs, nursing footballs full of bourban like babies?  It is here that the Freemont Dancer is born, it must have been a great place to bust the moves he was!!

 DO NOT MISS FREEMONT ST if you go to Vegas.

We danced the night away and of course needed to keep hydrated with giant size footy cups.  Did i mention you could have anything in them? Slushy, beer, bourban. 

On my way home i asked Elvis why everyone had just disappeared, apparently they had told me they were leaving and i simply refused to go.  This only became a problem the next morning when i got up at 9am with a screaming headache, and still drunk only to remember i was going horse riding in the desert at 12.30.  What was i thinking?  I was simply mesmorised by Freemont St, i wish we had one here...oh wait...some of our parties are like that! I will fill you in on the difficult morning which followed Freemont in the next edition.

Freemont St " I farking love that place"\

I would have video evidence if i hadnt lost the video camera i bought in the duty free shop in Bris Vegas, if anyone sees us pop up on you tube, please let me know.

Vegas Baby: Part 3

So Friday morning has arrived, i am without hangover, no one is anywhere to be found, they all have hangovers from Margaritaville the night before.  Elvis and I decide to make the trek to Southpoint Casino to see the Highrollers reining classic.  This casino has an arena in it, for horses, excellent casino option.  Also the Boot Barn is down that way somewhere. 

Yventka our Bulgarian cabbie, and we know she is Bulgarian because the 15 minute drive was a history lesson on Bulgaria, i lost interest after about the third word and found myself saying "oh yeah" , "wow" alot.  I didnt care, i just wanted to see horses and buy boots.  The fare came to $14.00 i gave her $50 and told her to take out $16.  Makes sense?  No.  She gave me $16 change.  So when i explained i needed $34 change, she gave me the $50 back, locked the doors and said "now pay me".  We were a little anxious at the door lock deal, all the cabs do this, one guy said it is done not because they are afraid we will jump the cab, but so we dont get car jacked. Nice.  Anyway Yventka (cab 661) I remembered this partly because i had written it in my journal and at the time i had put it into my phone in case i needed to send an emergency message to a hungover team member to let them know we were far south from the strip and had been hijacked by a Bulgarian cabbie called Yventka, she was not going to let us out until we paid the extra dollar she had demanded...had to pay taxes you know...big deal, so do we ! So we paid the extra dollar (made a $3 tip) and she released us. Thank goodness.  Off to the show.

Head through the casino, this one must be one of the originals, really old and the waitresses werent as glamourous as Aria waitresses, they were the economy type waitresses, not so attractive, larger in stature, but in very small outfits, knickers almost G string size.  I guess this would interest some?

On our way in, and this could only happen to Elvis, we are hit by timeshare, 15 minutes of trying to get away from her, we were through.  We hadnt booked a seat on the bus she tried to get us onto, and hadnt bought a hotel.  Excellent.

Reining was great, Elvis and I were experts very quickly.  Pink lemonade was shit.  No bubbles and about 2 litres of it (this was the smallest they sold).  I had intended to take loads of pics, suddenly 4 years at Uni had completely evaporated from my brain and i didnt get one decent pic of a horse. 

Next stop boot barn. Our next cabbie did not hold us hostage and even thanks us for our generous tip.  We gave $5 i think this time to avoid a hostage/drag to the dessert/tear our limbs off type ordeal. Phew.

The boot barn was fantastic.  I had $400 to spend of my birthday money from my very special friends (special: great, not special: challenged).  I found the perfect pair of ostrich leather boots and had some change (not much).  We need one of these in Bris Vegas.

The team members had surfaced by now and were meeting us at the Outlet centre across the road.  Crossing the road is so difficult in Vegas, the streets are 10 lanes wide and the stop/go sign counts you down in seconds, if you miss it, you wait for ages to get across, it is very stressful. 

More shopping.  Drop off shopping back at hotel.  Meet at Bar.  Seems to be the regular routine.  Tonight we needed steak, so what better place than the Outback Steakhouse.  It is an Australian themed restaurant.  Excellent.  There were kangaroos on the walls, giant sized didgeradoos and giant beers; in steins.  Dont they drink steins in Germany, you now Octoberfest?  I am confused.  So we order a steak, the salad comes first, they wait for you to finish your salad, needless to say we told them this is not how it works in Australia and asked why they did that in an Australian themed restaurant.  The chips (fries) in the states are awesome...i dont know why but they were.  The steak was great but it was coated in something spicy.  Everything is spicy except for their chilli....WTF...if you order a chilli dog, it is not hot at all, but if you order a rib eye, it is chilli. 

So our hungover team members seem to be seated at one table, they are drinking coke, we are back on the booze (i am squeaky clean remember), ready to party.  While i cannot get anyone in the party mood, we separate after dinner.  Elvis, Chawaiin (shes not a hooker) and myself hit the strip again, walking, walking, walking.  Despite the amount of food and alcohol we consumed, i actually lost weight.  Excalibur, New York and some others which names escape me were the casinos we visited tonight. I bought i giant red slushy from excalibur in a shiny red glass and it took me at least 3 casinos to finish it....pissed. Diaquiris are everywhere in Vegas, you can buy them from any casino, even on the street, there are slushy machines rolling around 24 hours a day, and they are potent. 

Minus 5 was  an ice bar we came across in one of the casinos.  Yes there is one in Sufferers Paradise, but when in Vegas...spend a shitload of money.  It cost about $16.24 with tax to get in, this gave you a parker, some gloves and a free shot of something (which tasted great).  Then you could buy drinks which were served in a cup made of ice, have your photos taken, exit after 15 minutes because you have an earache, buy the photos and a tshirt.  This 15 minutes cost us about $160.  It was fun. And from then on everyone told us there was one in Sufferers Paradise.  Well i am not there am I?  Plus i am pretty sure they dont serve Red Bull and three other colours in an ice cup....do they?

Back to Aria and we find Mr and Mrs Scotch and Coke....actually the wedding is tomorrow, so it is Ms Scotch and Coke.  They are winning big on the pokies (and of course abusing the free drink privalege).  Time to party. Mr and Ms S&C should be given a trophy for their party efforts while we were on tour.

Now the wedding is tomorrow, everyone else has gone home to rest up for the big day.  After putting a huge amount of money in the pokies and drinking about a million vodka red bulls, losing at Blackjack and finally kissing the dice and throwing them down the craps table...we load into a stretch limo (how else do you travel in vegas, and great news Yventka was not driving) and ask them to take us to the best strip club in town. 

Sapphires apparently.

After we have had a metal detector laid all over us by some massive security guards, and i am sure we were in some seedy part of Vegas, none of us paid attention during the trip, paid $30 to get in and bought a round of drinks which cost the price of feeding a small family...this was it...a real life Orgy.  OMG there was 2 topless girls to every person in there.  And who hooks onto me, some 50 something freaky woman carrying a full bottle of cognac,  is whispering something into my ear, only to deciphor that she "wants to hear me speak" ... Elvis is accosted at the bar when he goes to buy a drink, we decide to keep our backs to the wall and do not separate !

Ms S&C offers to purchase a lap dance for her soon to be Mr, he gets scared, Ms gets boobs in the face.  Ms tries to scale the pole dancing stage and security are zeroing in on us, time to leave. 

Cafe for breaky and i order chicken wings, not mention of chilli.  They arrive and the fumes make my eyes water.  Really...is it necessary to make everything so dang (thats american slang...lol) hot !!

5.19 am and we are off to bed.  Looking forward to the wedding.  Not looking forward to the effects of the night when the not hungover are making the wake up call at 8am.