Inspired by my decision to stop doing the same shit i do every year (find something to study), i have also booked in for hypnosis tomorrow. I sent the email to the clinic telling them i have decided to quit smoking and i need an appointment asap...before i change my mind. On this day i also only had 2 cigarettes, then the next day, just one, today i have had 2, mainly because my head was about to split open with the pain and no amount if coffee, grapes, columbines or bread top was going to get rid of it (plus i almost stabbed the tall boy)...the cigga did. In celebration of my decision, i had another one.
So now the anxiety has kicked in. What if it doesnt work? I have a big night on Saturday, is this the right time to do it? Will i sabotage myself and light up? Apparently the hypnosis makes your unconscious mind think that you have never smoked...ever...i dont understand this but all the websites say it works, so it must, right ? Then roll on more xmas celebrations, new years and camping, really this is not a good time....as you can see i am talking myself out of it. NO. It is going to happen at 1.30pm Friday the 9th of December !
I dont know myself as a non smoker, the last time i quit i was so bored with myself i started again.
I do understand now why my friends who get so much done, these are the non smokers. Today i did groceries, 4 loads of washing, made ALL the beds, vacuumed, mopped, and puttied up some holes in preparation for painting, i have cleaned out my office and my filing cabinets. I am busting to clean out all the cupboards, this will happen maybe tonight, to stop me from going to bed at 8pm (cant sit up or i want a smoke).
I know this is a good thing, starting new habits, find my photo mo jo, get my shit back on track, start the new year a healthy, happier me.
OR
I will go out saturday night, light up a dart, and have wasted the $250 it cost me for hypnosis :)
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