Magazines

I have always bought magazines, even subscribed to some, mainly american western horse ones, which cost a fortune in Australia, but stuff all if you subscribe. I have taken to only buying one gossip type each week, but it must contain recipes.  I will probably never evey cook anything from the recipes, but at the moment it is a pre-requisite, i do the monster crossword and file the magazine on my magazine pile.  I also get a house/garden mag each month/week. I dont throw them out.  Ever.  I found have Better Homes and Gardens from about 8 years ago in the Bermuda Triangle, i flick through them, and tear out the good recipes.  I even thought about buying farm machinery magazine the other day.  Yes i need a tractor.

While in a coffe shop in Evans Head, i discovered Frankie, i know it has been around for ever, i have read it before, but this time i fell in love.  I even stole a copy.  Wait.  Elvis stole it, i wrapped it in his newspaper and gave it to him to carry out.  Partly because i was in love, but mainly because it has a huge article on dolls houses.  Madonna and Miffy are both considering renovating theirs so i though they would love the article. I even thought a dolls house would be fun.  Yep, need another hobby. Not. 

I have been to 4 news agents since then and i cannot find a copy of Frankie.  I might have to subscribe.  

Couple of Sundays

So it appears i have not been around since Jan 3rd.  I had better review my last blog so i dont repeat myself. Dog vs Magic Mushrooms, check.  Christmas Day, check.  New years eve, bundy snorting and vomit, check. Impromptu camping, KFC Kilcoy (or lack there of), check.

Since then i have had some blank days.  Really i dont remember anything.  I have been on holidays for a bit, and the days seem to roll into the next.  I have happy days and sad days, sometimes both in the same day, actually mostly in the same day, hopefully when you have seen me, if you have seen me, it has been during the happy  less insane part. 

I did go camping.  With Elvis and the boys and 2 of their friends.  I had an anxiety attack leading up to departure, during the packing phase and even before this when i was deciding  whether to stay or go. 

I am just going to add that this blog is taking fucking forever to write.  Tall boys computer is really pissing me off.

So when TT#1 said she would leave her air conditioned house even after we have been warned of an impending heatwave, to house sit in my queenslander, with a swimming pool but no air con and look after my fur babies, i had no excuse not to go.  Plus the tall and the short were looking forward to camping, actually not camping so much as they are 13 and 16, but the fact that the camp grounds are full of pretty girls who can all surf and ride a skate board. They are now the alley cats we used to talk about when we first started camping at Evans Head about 15 years ago.  Tall boy drove me down, i must say i was not so nervous, except when we had to merge onto the highway, its ok, we survived without an accident or a speeding ticket , he doesnt read signs as often as you should, and for this it became a quiz all the way down "what did that last sign say ?" needless to say, tall boy quit driving at Chinderah, he was bored of it and wanted me to stop quizzing him mostly.

Day one, set up,  cant remember anything else.  The next morning, Elvis is cleaning a table and is stung by a bee.  I know this because when i got back from my morning walk/newspaper/milk/magazine trip he was sitting in a chair, all red.  Yes he was red, and puffy.  He showed me where he was stung on the little finger, his hand resembled a cartoon hand.  It was at this point i offered him a zyrtec OR a ride to the hospital.  I was secretly hoping the antihistimine would work and my days plans would not be ruined.  Is that selfish?  I am a Leo, have i told you this?  Anyhow, off to hospital, turns out we should have called an ambulance and it was one of the worst reactions they had seen in a while. 5 hours later,  loads of drugs, couple bags of fluids, and a prescription for an Epipen, we arrive back at camp. Elvis put me in charge of looking after and administering adrenalin should he be stung again. Someone asked if i was going to start bee keeping (name witheld).

In total Elvis spent one afternoon at campsite, one day in hospital, three days at work and then another day and half at camp until i decided we should pack up and go home.  The weather was turning and for those of you who have been to Evans, it puts on a pretty mean storm.  I was so happy to be at home.  Isnt that sad.  The beach was beautiful, i even got to do some surfing when i could get my board off the boys. It was usually brought back to me when the surf had gone to shit and i was so sunburnt from waiting.  I did get some waves, the water was warm and so clear.  It truly is a beautiful place.  When i grow up i might move there, you can ride your horse on the beach.  That is my happy place (horse on beach) if anyone is interested.

So as we did not camp with any of our fellow alcoholics, we didnt drink as much as we usually do when camping.  You know the kind of holiday when you need to detox when you get home?  Not needed.  I did however find Long Island Iced Tea in a cask.  The Goon is back.  My boys did not know what a goon was, nor did they know you could use the empty one as a pillow, or a pool float.  Kids of the 70's would absolutely know this.

Since being home i have started to re-invent my office (aka Bermuda Triangle).  I have started buying an unusual amount of magazines, especially those with recipes in them that i will never ever cook, and cushions.  I have moved furniture and even squeezed a dining table into my baby kitchen.  Should have seen the shock on the boys faces when i announced we would be eating at the table.  Sad.  I remember having to ask to be excused when i was finished eating.  Need to get back to talking over dinner.

I am still not smoking.  Despite the hypnotherapist saying i will not replace it with anything, i have replaced the smokes with:
magazines
alcohol
cushions
cooking (but not anything from the new magazines, just some old favourites)
gym
going to bed really really early
writing lists (yes more than before)
notebooks

I cannot decide if it is the smokes or my mental status or a combination of the two which has contributed to all or part of these replacements. 

Is it Tuesday?

What day is it? I have been so confused since. wow. christmas.

Update on Piper first:  he had recovered from his magic mushroom episode and was safe (but remained disorientated) at home, and was attacked by a couple of neighbourhood bullies, he appeared at the back steps covered in blood, instigating another trip to the after hours vet.  Stapled and bandaged and still on antibiotics post mushroom feast, he is going really well now, and owes me a few dollars. Felicity has her splint off also ( i may have mentioned this before) and is walking really well.  She has a sports splint on through the day, should she decide to take a bolt around the back yard, she has a little support.

Christmas day went off with a bang.  We had Santa Fever, Dad had some other illness and couldnt make it, which was sad, we missed him.  Loads of love and laughter, very little dessert.  There was a breakdown in communications and no one made dessert, fortunately we had a packet of white chocolate Tim Tams and a Ginger Bread house i didnt want to demolish, it was so perfect.  The kids were excited about crushing it, as they were with smashing santa with a stick.  Yes we had a pinjata.  We didnt leave the house all day, it was nice for a change.

Roll on new years, it was a quiet one, a few close friends came over, everyone seemed to have their own plans this year, a first for a while and this was kind of sad.  Our beautiful 'pommie' neighbours organised a game of cricket, there was Pimms and Cucumber sandwiches, and a million other things to eat and drink.  It was a great day with loads of laughs.

I am still not smoking, i think that i have replaced the cigarettes with alcohol.  Really, i know i can be the Queen of binge aka Boozy Von Drunk Alot, on occasions, i can admit that i do love a binge, and also why i loved Vegas.  But this night i cut myself off at 1/2 bottle of vodka/red bull, i was proud of this decision, except that i found out the next day i had just switched to Turkey because i was out of red bull.  I know this because i posted it on FB that night. Together we shot zambucca and apple schnapps (apparently) and the Axe lit up Bundy OP to prove it was the real deal, that the table wouldnt burn and that we could also encourage him to snort it up his nose.  After this was done (and please dont try this at home), and we could smell his nose hairs, i also thought his head was on fire, but it was one of the partiers cigarettes behind him, waving smoke which appeared to be coming out of his ears, everyone went to bed.  I did not.  The Axe and i sat up and i believe i was speaking a huge amount of shit resulting from overindulgence of alcoholic bevvies since lunchtime at the cricket, and it is now about 2 am.  I dont remember going to bed, i woke up and got in my swimmers and jumped in the pool, the hangover kicked in soon after and my fellow revellers who were all quite healthy the next day decided on a road trip.  Excellent.  Not. There was also alot of solutions to my problem:  "you should eat something" "you need to get up and move around".  No.  I have had hangovers like this for 20 years at least.  Miffy will remember the long trips back to Lismore with all the vomit stops.  I think i know what is best for my hangover.  Go to bed.  Get up and vomit. Go to bed.  Get up and vomit.  Continue in this sequence for next 12 hours.  Declare that you will never drink again and pray for someone to come in and kill you.  I requested suffocation by drowning in the morning swim (i knew the day would be ordinary). 

To prove a point, i grabbed a sausage, and ate it while i walked down the road.  Didnt work.  Dog ate the vomit.

Anywho, road trip was fun, we impromptu camped at Somerset Dam.  By impromptu i mean each family through some food in an esky, a tent, something to sleep on and a spare set of clothes.  I got to lay in the back while we drove the 2.5 hour trip.  We all went because we thought i was only an hour away.  Wasnt.  We set up camp.  We had no mattresses, no BBQ, no lights.  We did have cheese, sausages, chips and trifle.  Bad start.   So when we got desperate and sent the boys to get KFC (for hangover) from Kilcoy (i had googled Kilcoy KFC to make sure it was there), they came home with Hamburgers.  Guess what.  No KFC in Kilcoy.  It helps to open the page when you google as these probably all said that there is not KFC anywhere near Kilcoy.  Bummer.  Also can you imagine me eating trifle in the dark?  I am terrified of soggy cake. I am not sure if i have blogged about this before, one for the list if i have not, just to clarify the situation with food phobias.
While camping with your dearest friends is fun, this was particularly funny.  We had been ill prepared and spent the whole time laughing about it.  I had sore ribs from laughing.  We hugged trees and sat in the dark.

I also decided that i am not a fan of skiing, or the process.  I like the surf.  I like to fish off boats, i get a bit anxious going fast, and it really looks like an expensive hobby where you could actually get really hurt everytime you fall off, or lack the ability to walk the next day because your muscles are aching from trying not to fall off.  The thing i did like is the camping deal and the fact that all the ski boats have glitter on them (nice touch) and really cool names, mostly to do with not having any money.  The boys enjoyed it, but it seems they all sit around alot waiting for a turn.  So i guess you also need to have your own boat, again, expensive hobby.  I thought i would pimp my horse float, or my surf board, put some glitter on it and then i could feel like part of the club? Cookie voted to buy a jetski, you could have two sitting on it, and tow two: fun family outing.  Yep if you dont crash into the other million people on the dam driving fast, apparently jet skis are to boats, what boogie boards are to surfers.  I am too anxious for such a sport.  I am trying to have this anxiety diagnosed and have some drugs dispensed to help me survive, will keep you posted on the outcome. Perhaps should go back for Hypnosis with Miss I, it seems we could sort out our whole lives through hypnotherapy.  Nice.

Three more sleeps ...

The big man  will be here in 3 more sleeps, i know this because i have watched Polar Express.  If you have kids who are starting to wonder about Santa, or if you need a little christmas pick me up, watch this movie.  I took my boys to see it when it was on at the movies, i laughed and cried and left the cinema thinking that Santa might just be out there.  Really? 

Elvis and I dont buy each other anything amazing for xmas anymore, just small things to put in a stocking. I have however bought him a sign for manland, i can write this because he will not be reading my blog anytime in the near future, or perhaps ever, and it does not fit in his stocking, also got a mini size bar top fuzball table (how do you spell this), this does not fit either so his stocking will be empty (note to self, get to the dollar shop and buy crap today).

What i look forward to is secret santa, crappy presents under $5, it is a laugh.  I miss the homemade gifts from my kids when they were little, Cookie did go shopping for us all, i did have to give him money to do so, i am busting to know what he got, apparently it is the same as my kiwi friend aka Pretty Painter Girl.

Lunch with my school pals the other day, it was lovely.  Hostess with the mostess aka Miffy put on a beautiful lunch, complete with homemade relish/chutney/jam. 

Relish - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

A relish is a cooked, pickled, or chopped vegetable or fruit food item which is
typically used as a condiment.

Chutney - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Chutney is a condiment used in South Asian cuisine that usually contains a spice
and vegetable mix.

Can anyone clarify the difference between the two? 

It is these kinds of things which make the lunch special, homemade.  Miffy also had a free for all, kind of like a garage sale  but pile of stuff she had no space for, give away, even a shopping trolley and paper bags to fill,  this made me laugh.  Gifts were flowing and all hand made.  Inga, your treats have gone, i didnt even get to taste one, apparently they got the thumbs up, i am going to reuse the jar for my chutney/relish i am making today.   Miffy the soaps like you said have made my house smell like a nightclub (aniseed) mixed with a dentist (peppermint).  Tall boy said that the peppermint cleared his nose in the shower, i can say that you should not use this on your bits.  I am not sure if you have used essential oils, but i have wanted to sleep since i got them home lol.  So gifts from the heart, laughs, champagne and the greatest quiche ever, thankyou girls.

As you might be following Piper and his attempt to kill himself or at least get high on mushrooms, i believe he might be coming home for christmas.  If he isnt home soon i will have to sell the house or one of my children to pay to get him out. 

Mould carry mycotoxins, this can also be found in blue cheese.  Please do not stop eating blue cheese after you read this and Miffy if you need to read more google mycotoxicosis in dogs.

Piper had a fine old time rolling in the manure pile, this is kind of like rubbing that perfume sample off the magazine page to him.  This pile has been in my back yard for 2 years.  I visited him last night and he was sleeping, when he heard my voice he got so excited i had to leave, they may have had to sedate him again, i am not sure.  On Tuesday i was going to put him to sleep, the vet encouraged me to give it some time first.  You cannot put a monetary value on your animals, but i have always maintained that if a human had to miss out because one of my animals  needed veterinary care, then it would be time to let them go.  I kind of havent stuck to this after Felicity and her leg and now Piper and his mushrooms.  Inbetween i have had Stuart (white cat who has had sex change) with issues and Jim who cannot keep his own penis clean (yes this can be common for those of you who are not horsey people).  I am a vet nurse, i teach vet nursing, i preach pet insurance, i dont have it.  Even after Flicks injury i looked into it again, and didnt get it.  Lesson learnt.  I am down a family trip to Thailand for the money i have spent.  Onwards and upwards.  Fence off the manure, get Piper home, get pet insurance, start saving again. At least he is still with us.  Thankyou especially to all my friends for your kind words and well wishes, Piper is one in a million, for those of you who know him (and ignore the idiot side of him) you know what i mean.

Sunday Bloody Sunday (again)

Again, really ?  It seems only yesterday i was writing a blog last sunday?

I have 27 hours to write and submit a 3000 word assignment.  In my spare time this weekend i have drank bourban last night, and drank vodka this night, also cooked pad thai for 8.  I have not started the assignment.  I had words with Elvis aka Picasso yesterday afternoon:  i got home from 7 hours of riding and he had invited the entire street over for drinks, i had no food in the house despite the fact i spent over $200 in nothing really edible,  groceries on Friday afternoon and had done a morning trip to the markets for fresh fruit and vege, only to come home with a shitload of plants and 2 corregated iron chickens for my faux chicken coop.  I almost had a nervous breakdown.  I sat and cried, then drank half a bottle of bourban.  Was it the lack of nicotine or the fact that i had stuff to do which did not involve the street.  I do love my street kids, but i have a lot to do, you know one week before xmas, now 27 hours before assignment due. 

Here i am blogging, mainly because i have had 4 cans of vodka mule and could not possibly attempt any part of this assignment.  I have all day Monday to do it.  No i dont, i have lunch with my BFFS from school.  So what i do have is at least 5 hours in the morning to work on it, providing i get up at 5 am, cut this a little shorter as i will go to the gym also.  Yes i did get there on Monday/Tuesday might have been Wednesday, did a group fit class, was very hard, i think i may havce told you this?  Too many vodka mules, cant think. After lunch i have until midnight to submit the assisgnment and also contribute to the naff discussions where all the academics write smarty pants statements which bore the shit out of me.  Get over it, so what? you know big words....so do i : supercalafragalisticexpealadocious.

Speaking of academics.  I had graduation the other day for my students, i was in the academic parade (felt very important) cross between a bridle party walking down the isle and a walking the green mile.  FYI i was the only one not wearing a hat.  The entire conversation was about how many letters were behind everyones name, really, i dont care anymore, remember, i dumped it all to care for my vege patch. 

If i could pull out of this current subject due partly to the fact that i am too lazy to do the assignment, and at this present time too drunk, and not have to actually pay for it, because i have missed census date, i would. 

I told my hypnotherapist i had an epiphany.  She liked that word.  I do too i use it all the time.  I dont even know if it is possible to have that many epiphanys', seeing that i use this word all the time.  What about finding the notepad in kiki which was 21 days to change a habit....weird and freaky.

An epiphany (from the ancient Greek ἐπιφάνεια, epiphaneia, "manifestation, striking appearance") is the sudden realization or comprehension of the (larger) essence or meaning of something. The term is used in either a philosophical or literal sense to signify that the claimant has "found the last piece of the puzzle and now sees the whole picture," or has new information or experience, often insignificant by itself, that illuminates a deeper or numinous foundational frame of reference.

Its true, it was on wikipedia.

I still have to get saturdays paper so i can get an autograph at lunch tomorrow.  Perhaps Miss I will bring along some already signed copies.  Note to self, stop at shop in the morning, get paper.

I felt like a cigarette the last 2 days, drank more instead and may have eaten enough biscuits to feed a small country.  It seems i have also not listened to my hynosis cd yesterday or today....mainly because it puts me to sleep, and also because one of my cats jumped on my laptop (which happens to be government owned: thankyou tax payers) and smashed it onto the floor.  It did come apart.  I was scared.  It is all ok.  I am typing on it now.  I will listen to cd after i finish this blog.

You are getting sleepy..................

Lego land and other stuff

It wasnt until a discussion came up last night over Lego that i realised how much i used to love that stuff, i especially loved it when my boys were old enough to have lego without shoving up their nose at the first opportunity.  I would say a girl wouldnt do that , but my neice Miss K put a bean from a bean bag up her nose, I may have encouraged it as their is only about 7 yrs difference between us, anywho, it resulted in a visit to the emergency ward.  Which is exactly what my friend Miss I aka Madonna was saying that the only lego for girls, might consist of a pony (i cant see the problem, every little girl should have a pony) or the cute house, which came with a man and a BBQ.  Check the picture above, they are all male.  This is really going to fire Madonna up, she can add this to evidence when she takes Lego to court over discrimination or they have her for defamation (she has already sent an email) which ever comes first ! So i plan to find some lego for her while i am out xmas shopping (if i can ever get motivated to start). 

I have decided to buy the boys a race car track, we were chatting last night about how boring their day was, and i said that i remember when they could make their own fun (without the x box).  They know that i always buy quirky stuff for xmas present, to fill the santa bags, and it think it is about time we revisit the race track.  we bought one when the kids were really little, you know too small to actually use it without wrecking the race by bumping the track or knocking the cars off, it really was grown up fun, and i believe we sat up xmas eve, got pissed and played with it all night.  Had to make sure it worked. If only Apple built tracks, i bet they would become cool again.

So Monday is lunch with Miffy and some other BFFS, i am excited.  I get to put up my decoration on the friendship tree and i also can pretty up her cast.  She is going to get it changed on Wednesday, just in case it smells and to remove the 100's and 1000's she spilt inside it.  FYI i have the coloured bandage in my possesion (craft moment: cant spell posession?).  It can go over your cast and i have 2 shades of green and 1 red, i am thinking holly? It will look great, i will also need to do Felicitys' leg for xmas. 

First day of holidays today, well interupted, i have to go back to work tomorrow for graduation day, all day up until 9pm, so if anyone is in Bris Vegas and wants to meet for lunch, let me know, otherwise i will find myself sitting around my office which i prematurely emptied yesterday.

I had checked out the local gym for class times and membership.  9.30 is a pump/weight/hype/jump, i dont know, some class.  I had decided last night i was going, all part of my new life.  This morning i am sitting in bed, typing this blog, and have zero intention of going to the gym, it is too hot.  I do have to put up a star picket fence for my houdini horse, to keep him out of a drain we had dug last weekend in preparation for another rain event.  I also need to ride him before i attend a clinic we will be going to on the weekend.  I say i am going, today is final day to make a decision, is $400 too much to pay to attend a riding clinic?  That is one quarter of my quad bike i need to rake the fricken leaves off my arena , i started to do this by hand yesterday afternoon, it is not fun, i then had to jump into the pool with my clothes on because i was about to pass out.  I did justify it by the fact that we would have spent way more than that this weekend had we been going to the race day, but we are not.  There is also alot of painting to be done before my family gets here xmas day.  Who am i kidding, i have painted 4 posts, since we started.  I should just ride my horse. 

My holiday list:

Move my poo pile into the gardens (not my poo, Jim's poo, just in case you were wondering)
Plant some plants in my empty gardens
Fence off the drain
Electrify the fence (need to find a sparky who will come hook up power in my horse shed first)
Swim
Bake (skin and cakes)
Exercise
Find my photo mo jo (i have requested a polaroid for xmas)
Ride my horse
Cut off my nails (poo/gardens/nails do not mix)
Take day trips (Tall boy needs to accumulate some driving hours, so he can get his P's in March)
Evans Head for one glorious week in the sun (and a deep sea fishing charter) I will be up for visitors, i think Elvis is dropping myself and the boys off.


Still havent had  a cigarette.  Not going to count the days, i really hate that when people know exactly how many days without.  Its been 4 and a bit.

Sunday bloody Sunday

I just wanted to wrap my weekend up.  I have only one or two days of work left.  Woo hoo.  After a code of ethics meeting on Friday, i cannot comment on how i feel about work at the moment, apparently social network sites not a place to vent.  Freedom of Speech?

Anywho as you all know i was hypnotised on Friday.  I had to go back to work afterwards, i was in a post trance haze and just left to drive home, couldnt be bothered with it, dont know if anyone noticed.  I got home and couldnt remember if there had been a roof on our house, a new section which has just been put up, i wasnt sure if had been there all along, needless to say i went to bed about 8pm, mostly because Elvis had to make some smart ass comment about being shitty because i hadnt had alot of ciggies all week.  No.  You shit me off, that is why i am shitty.  Good night.

Checked into the Sufers Hilton on Saturday arvo, we got upgraded, so our two bedroom apartment is now facing the ocean and also Soul being built right in front of it.  I bet the Hilton was pissed about this.  But wow, what a room, it was so beautiful and i have decided it is my new Gold Coast sleep over spot.  They even have good shampoo and conditioner.

Foo Fighters and Tenacious D at Carrara stadium, fricken awesome.  Fooies played for 3 hours WITHOUT a break.  3 hours was seriously not long enough to stare at Dave Grohl.

Now there was a conversation prior to going to Fooies with Elvis: if you are stressing about the crowds and the degree of difficulty in getting home.  DO NOT COME.  Apparently he thought that it wouldnt be so bad, really ? forty thousand people trying to get home from Metricon stadium, all at once.  Refer back to Australia Day 2011.  Enough said.

Yum cha at midnight.  Home to bed, yes early night, (well 2am) belly full of bourban and chinese.

Up for breaky and Elvis and Naana go play cricket.  Really?  I dont know why any person would voluntarily join a cricket team, unless of course you are being paid to play.  Have fun anyway, i wont be watching, we have breakfast to find.

Hilton cafe 'the foodstore' i know i called it something else on my FB check in, but that was the first thing that came up and i had lost interest.  I do need to let you know the name so that you do not eat there, and now i think of it, it may not even be the name, it is in the foyer.   Fresh made juiced anything.   Nice.  Coffee.  Nice.  Warm chopped eggs with sundried tomatoes, bacon and some tasty bread.  I had to ask the waitress if by warm she meant cold, and why the fuck would you put this meal on a plate which resembled a soap dish and most of my meal ended up on the table.  Queen Adelaide asked for Eggs Bene "firm"  i did comment that eggs bene need to be runny.  Dont they?  Apparently they do because the chef refused to cook them firm as that is not how you eat eggs bene.  WTF.  Good news, we go our meals for free and the in the foyer you could help yourself to free danish and softdrinks.  Need to also mention that while waiting in the check in line yesterday (it was like schoolies week, confirmed when we got home to find the cleaner scraping vomit out of lift with a rake), they took drink orders.  Free drinks.  Nice, in hindsight, i bet the cleaner thought it was probably not the wisest of ideas.

Time to go home, find the kids and put up some fencing.  Correction.  Got home, found the kids and did nothing.

Havent had a cigarette since Friday pre hypnosis.  Havent even cared, got through a night of drinking without lighting up. I feel that i am about to meet the healthy version of me and i am excited. I am not going to tell mum until xmas day, it will be a nice pressy for her.
I am going to make another appt to get me over my apparent food neuroses (and some other issues, for another blog or private conversation):
soggy cake in trifle
sultanas in anything
wagon wheels
jam rolls (the cake you put in trifle)
egg whites

Tonight i'm cleaning out my closet

Firstly i must say a big thankyou for the advice i received from my last blog "beaten".  The very next day i withdrew from my class and also fought the urge to forward the family guy video to my teacher.  It was a weight lifted.  I didnt enrol back into my photography degree either, although i did go to the enrolment cart, ticked the defer study box for the 5th time in three years.

Inspired by my decision to stop doing the same shit i do every year (find something to study), i have also booked in for hypnosis tomorrow. I sent the email to the clinic telling them i have decided to quit smoking and i need an appointment asap...before i change my mind.  On this day i also only had 2 cigarettes, then the next day, just one, today i have had 2, mainly because my head was about to split open with the pain and no amount if coffee, grapes, columbines or bread top was going to get rid of it (plus i almost stabbed the tall boy)...the cigga did.  In celebration of my decision, i had another one. 

So now the anxiety has kicked in.  What if it doesnt work?  I have a big night on Saturday, is this the right time to do it?  Will i sabotage myself and light up?  Apparently the hypnosis makes your unconscious mind think that you have never smoked...ever...i dont understand this but all the websites say it works, so it must, right ?  Then roll on more xmas celebrations, new years and camping, really this is not a good time....as you can see i am talking myself out of it.  NO.  It is going to happen at 1.30pm Friday the 9th of December !

I dont know myself as a non smoker, the last time i quit i was so bored with myself i started again. 

I do understand now why my friends who get so much done, these are the non smokers.  Today i did groceries, 4 loads of washing, made ALL the beds, vacuumed, mopped, and puttied up some holes in preparation for painting, i have cleaned out my office and my filing cabinets.  I am busting to clean out all the cupboards, this will happen maybe tonight, to stop me from going to bed at 8pm (cant sit up or i want a smoke). 

I know this is a good thing, starting new habits, find my photo mo jo, get my shit back on track, start the new year a healthy, happier me.

OR

I will go out saturday night, light up a dart, and have wasted the $250 it cost me for hypnosis :)

Beaten

My bits of paper include:
Cert III in Companion Animals
Cert IV in Veterinary Nursing
Diploma of Photoimaging
Cert IV in Training and Assessment

Partial bits of paper include:
Cert III in Equine Nursing (current)
Bachelor of Photography (current)
Graduate Certificate of Tertiary Teaching (current)
I did 2 years of human nursing when i left school, 6 months of a travel agent certificate and some other business related thing.

When i am not studying i am looking for something to study, when i am studying, my stress levels reach a point where i could stab the next person who speaks to me, especially while i am trying to study.  I am in my final semester of a post grad certificate, funny because i havent actually finished my degree yet.  I am in my third year of a Photography degree and have been there for approximately 3 years. My mid life master plan was to become a professional photographer, i dont do weekends so that cuts a lot of photographic opportunities out, so plan b was to finish a degree and wear a cap and gown, i got to the gown stage, but just cant get to the cap stage.  I dont have any more time spare since i work full time teaching Vet Nursing and Companion Animal studies at Tafe (i got this job while i was studying photography), then came plan b; finish degree, teach Photography.  Except now i have pretty much forgotten everything and was on a good GPA until i submitted a portrait of Barbie (which i happen to love) and my lecturer hated it.  Bummer.  I knew this before i submitted it, but did so anyway. Lesson learnt. So i have 2 first year theory units to finish and one year of my own work, and no time to do it, and no plan c.

Back to post grad certificate.  I am in my final semester and my god one of the units has me rattled (i even cried tonight).  My text book has not arrived, so i am behind on my readings (tears), and the readings i do have bore/confuse the shit out of me (more tears).  I am more pissed off that i managed to end first semester on HIGH DISTINCTION and now i cant even decipher the assignment. Who writes this stuff, i wouldnt want them at a party.

I sat down tonight to get stuck into it, it is due Friday and my lecturer is on a conference all week, so she cant answer questions as she has no internet access, what is she doing? Survivor? Fuck knows but i need her help.  It is then i decide i need to defer this unit (census date is tomorrow).  I am a pro at deferring, i have deferred for the last three years my first year art theory subjects i think i have 10 years to get them finished, and i decided last night i would be on long service leave then and i could go back and get it done.  Just for the cap. I have also lost my photo mo jo.  It has been gone a while, pretty soon after a bought a $3500 camera. Bummer. No mo jo would probably just produce more barbie pics.

So i need to make an executive decision: 
Dont finish my degree - no cap.
Defer this fucking stupid unit on action research (yawn) do it later when my head is not about to explode from my current life, i do have to finish it eventually, work is paying for it.
Concentrate on the other unit, which i have in the bag (too easy).
NEVER enrol into any more courses, which would result in not having to be always paying HECS (Elvis thinks it is free).
STOP looking at University courses that i think i might like to do in the future.
Do i buy tall boy an Iphone for xmas?  I think maybe i would if he didnt lose his phone every 6 months combined with the fact that they cost $800 (off topic, but really this is an insane request).
Use my spare time to grow veges in my purpose built vege patch and not weeds.

Santa Claus is Coming to Town

December first, historically this is the day we put up our christmas tree and lights. 

I have a beautiful big tree i bought a couple of years ago before we moved to Tamborine, i wanted the biggest in the shop and i paid a fortune for it, it is 2 metres plus across the bottom branches and about 8 ft tall.  So big in fact it could house at least 4 cats at a time in the branches.  True.  They would wait excitedly every 1st of December for the final piece to be placed on the tree....then climb it.  There would be more cat hair in the tree than tinsel. It was Catmas time.

Anywho, we moved into our delightful Queenslander in Tamborine Village, and the tree just did not fit, we didnt have a 'corner' for the tree, so it sort of overlapped the lounge, coffee table and blocked view from the TV, kind of funny for a short period of time.  So i was forced to pack it away and buy a smaller version, yes i bought the one that has the really fake branches that shed green plastic all over the place, cats were not happy but it fit.  Now that our house has grown in size, and the boys have their own 'level' it was decided they could have the tree downstairs...no corner with a powerpoint, something to consider when you renovate/build: make room for christmas tree. 

I have put a baby $5 tree upstairs on the table, i even found disco balls for it and all it needed was one strand of battery operated lights...perfect.  Ethan decided today he does not want the tree downstairs, i think deep down he is worried about Santa entering the room, even though he told me last year that Santa was not real.  Really?  I watch the Polar Express every christmas and i have a giant bell, it makes me think that maybe Santa is out there (spending my money).

So i started to unfold the plastic tree, and the kids have zero interest in seeing it go up, or even decorating it...boys, at least the cats might enjoy it just a little, although i can already see the look of disappointment on their little faces when they realise they cannot climb this one.

I am however excited about christmas day.  I will have 6 little girls here who still believe in Santa, so Manland is being converted to Santaland for the day.  I am even dressing Jim up as a reindeer (he doesnt know this yet) We  have a Santa pinjata, although i will feel bad about wacking him with a stick, the smiles on the kids faces will make up for that.  My boys of course, in true pinjata spirit will get the final wack. While i have been busy shopping for my decorations, i still have not started the actual gift part.....seems i can do all the boys gifts at Apple, bonus, can also do this online, does BBQ's Galore sell online, Elvis needs a new one.

I do have to get my decoration prepared for the friendship tree that Miffy has, i was a little sad it is not actually a tree, and concerned at how my decoration might 'hang' once i have created it.  I just need to drink 2 bottles of wine first before i can make it.  Have my work xmas party on Saturday, need 2 x evil santa presents (which include blue), lucky to add this to my blog, as it just reminded me i had forgotten to get these....someone please remind me tomorrow to go to shop to buy evil santa gifts. 

Unfortunately the verandah is not finished, so i am not sure how to hang the lights.  

Tom and Carol are hosting christmas drinks tomorrow night, while tall boy hosts a 'gathering' in manland.  Happy about Tom and Carol, not so much about the 'gathering' which could end up a massive piss up for 17 year olds.  We never did anthing like that when we were 17 (didnt have a manland, did have nightclubs who let in underage drinkers).

Tall boy has a girlfriend.  He took her to the movies today.  He HAD to watch Twilight.  Welcome to relationships tall boy :)