So i ordered a princess dress from America, it cost $75 in total and i felt like a princess aka Scarlett Ohara (my apparent 'current' nickname from my BFF and felow blogger). The train was so long and i put my heel through it about 15 times (note to self, ugg boots cause less damage). I will have it dry cleaned and pray for another time to wear it again.
The day of the celebration started with platter anxiety, and a 3 second rule did apply to some kabana....but i dont remember which platter we put it on, i blame the mullet wearing plumber who came to fix the tap in the morning for making me drop the kabana. My terrier 'Felicity Jane' carried out a whole cob loaf in her mouth, hence the missing cob loaf dip on the night.
Balloon pick up was next and after three of us girls (TT #1, myself and Queen Scrub Turkey) crammed into Queen Scrub Turkey's (ST explanation for another blog) work van, which by the way is feminine hygiene unit delivery van and only had two seats, so i sat on the floor in between the two and handed out cigarettes during the trip (which by the way ST is NOT allowed to smoke in after she was fined for throwing a cigarette butt out the window...and she still denies) we were excited that we had successfully transported 100 balloons filled with helium after all the horror stories the ladies in the party shop told us about losing balloons out the car window/door. No helium/cigarette explosion, no balloon loss, and no mix up between the FH units/durries/balloons...we were happy.
Back home and now i could have a drink. Miss TT # 1 and i were ready 2 hours early, we were a bit excited.
The guests started to arrive, so many mullets and fabulous frocks, i did not recognise half of them. My poor photographer had a malfunction with the lights, luckily we had a back up plan in place which included a set of Bunnings lights, and i cant wait to see the photos ! Amongst the many photos taken was our very first successful attempt at a three tier human pyramid, which by the way was not instigated by the song 'Mickey', and for those of you who dont know me, this is not the first human pyramid I have been involved with, just the first successful one, which didnt result in a pile of druken arms and legs.... a huge win for us as the mullet brigade were not so lucky and probably caused the most damage to the backdrop, which spent half a day to build and one pyramid to come down. Not so badly that we could not put the Axe in front of it at 11am still drunk in his jocks with strategically placed balloons....no i cannot post this photo (amongst others), this is where i touch on the subject of going to bed and leaving your camera out so that your children and their friends can find a piture of a teabag (and this is not the one you put in a tea cup)....sorry Axe. So i must say i was also not suprised to find messages on my phone to let me know that someone had been using it through the early hours in the morning to possibly send the same pics.
Now my beautiful Sister and Niece have decided to create cakes, my sister is an excellent cook and the cake tasted amazing. When she asked me to preview it before they carried it into manland i was a little concerned. A two tiered, white iced cake, covered in stars and ribbon...amazing...add to that fallen champagne bottles and a girl laying down with a shoe missing with vomit cascading down the tiers, including peas and carrots (did you know there is a pocket in your intestines which saves these vegetables for exactly the time you vomit?)....it was so very me, yes i admit it. Now i wondered why a card with the word 40 printed on it upset me, but a cake with vomit did not, go figure.
Sid and Nancy turned up as the names suggest, did not read the invite, so did not know it was prom night. Well Nancy is a pom and she had not a clue what a prom was and Sid, well he simply did not read the invite. They were concerned that i would be upset with my gift which was a photo of Kath and Kim with my mum and my own face on their bodies...laugh...this was the result of a $300 glamour shoot i dragged my mum to and the resulting print was just that....Kath and Kim, you will not see the glamour shoot pics anywhere on my wall for obvious reasons.
Now i only drank Wild Turkey all night as i have been hit with the slushy stick way too many times over the years. It is funny that when we fire it up, it is only the new people who drink it....invite them back to another party i can guarantee they will BYO and not walk within 3 feet of the slushy machine, dont worry i wont be offended, it is toxic and i think the reason for this is that i dont actually measure anything that i pour into it, i just keep adding until we hit the 20lt mark (and sometimes it does get spiked).....sorry.
In an attempt to meet my self imposed challenge of staying up until the sun rises, i found myself falling asleep in mid conversation with a turkey in my hand (the drink, not the bird), i say conversation, it was probably not even more than 2 words put together correctly in a sentence. So at 5.15am i went to bed....i only needed to last about an extra 45 minutes...huge fail, but i am not overly concerned, there will be another occasion where i can improve on my stay awake skills.
When i opened my eyes after a brief 4 hour comatosed state, i felt ok and breaky needed to be organised for the strays. Fortunately hubby (who i havent a nick name for...yet) and some strays had started cleaning around the last 2 people still drinking at the bar in manland: Bugs and The Axe. Bacon and eggs, a cup of tea some laughs, some nudity and a visit from the local police who by the way was met in the driveway by The Axe in jocks (i believe the reason he was down to jocks was because he had to retrieve a sausage from the bottom of the pool) and i headed back to bed in hope of getting rid of the headache which may or may not have caused my head to split open and spill my turkey soaked brains onto the floor. Round two and i was feeling much better. Bugs and The Axe were spooning downstairs, they had hit their wall and their wives were probably much happier i was stuck with them both still.
Now all was fine this day until i was reminded that we are to attend a footy trip away to Sufferers Paradise, which might include a Friday night pub/club/stripper/timezone horse racing crawl and a day at the real horse races on Saturday, only 4 more sleeps....Hello Turkey.
O man! HILARITY!
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